NFL ALLOWS WASHINGTON TO KEEP NAME WHILE CHANGING LOGOS
“We think this is the best of both worlds. We will slowly bring the new logo onto sweatshirts and caps and as the new look becomes more endearing to our fans, we will gradually switch over totally. Our colors will stay the same, so it won’t be all that noticeable.
We are also working on various mottos for the gradual change and are in negotiations with Mr Potato-Head as our future mascot”
The ‘Redskins’ have come under fire recently…once again… for their 80 year-old name because there are those who feel that Native-Americans should be offended. We were not able to speak with any Native-Americans who were offended, but the fear remains amongst those who have appointed themselves as the ‘first-string offensive squad’.
Juana Stahpew, the director of the Citizen’s Coalition for Correctness Politically, the CCCP, stated,
“This is the first step. We in the CCCP have taken on the monumental task of informing various groups when they should be offended. Sometimes, you know, they just might not be smart enough to know, or they are more concerned with putting food on the table, or looking for work to notice when they are being bullied.”
Ms. Stahpew mans…persons… the national CCCP office in Des Moines, though she refuses to call her state ‘Idaho’.
“That’s another word we’re working on. It’s not really a Redskin… I mean Indian… I mean… Native American word, as many people believe, but was thought up by white men in the 1860′s. We believe that its origins were just another way for the white settler to keep women in their place…’I-da-ho’ should be stricken…!!”
We have a proposal before our state house to enact an appropriate name change that will not negatively affect self-esteem. We have several alternatives, including my personal choice,
CCCP spokesperson, Inga Ramos, recalls, with misty eyes,
“We are the group who brought national attention to the unsettling use of the word ‘niggardly’. Why, that word, supposedly meaning ‘stingy’ or ‘miserly’, has been used since the 1300′s and we were the first to call attention to the obvious fact that it could very well sound like a racial slur.”
When asked, she replied,
“No, we don’t know any stingy people who were actually offended, but they could have been…”
The CCCP’s next big push is to hold talks with the Nabisco corporation about their rampant mis-use of the term ‘Cracker’.
“Most Caucasians don’t even realize the implications….!”
“ Also, in conjunction with our sister group, the
‘Personal Health is a Universal Problem, Declaiming Unwarranted Concern’, known as PHUPDUC, we will be pushing for Nabisco to also remove the word ‘Salt’ from Saltines.”
We’re hoping for Nabisco “Tines-Unleavened Flatbread Wafers”
“We are a little concerned that the use of ‘Tines’, sounding like ‘teens’ next to the word ‘Flat’-bread may cause offense to some young ladies.
But that’s another campaign, entirely!”
“This is a battle for all citizens and we will work to let every person know when they should be offended!
We only hope that the victims appreciate our efforts and we will do everything in our power to keep them from being laughed at for believing that they are being laughed at”