This is a ‘little bit’ weird…

 

     I was scheduled for ‘minor’ surgery on Monday, June 14, 2010. The surgeon called it minor surgery, (minor for him…he was on the blunt end of the knife!)… in at 7, out by 10… but he also reminded me that when a person is ‘put under’ one ‘just never knows’….

Had to throw that in, didn’t he?

     A day or two before, I considered that this might be a good opportunity for me to write something to leave for friends and family, you know, just in case…a sort of last testament, I guess. I mean, here would be the perfect occasion to tell people how I felt about them, how I thought about things….the hoops that my mind trips through. Or, more poignantly, the relationships that my heart wraps around.

     I was having those melodramatic, fatalistic thoughts that I suppose happen to us all occasionally, probably more often as we grow older.

Overly fulsome?…Well, yeah….Unlike me?….yes… I hope!

     But I guess there come certain times when in your ‘soon to be opened’ gut you just feel as if you need to do/say something. Don’t get me wrong! I was not in the least bit apprehensive or afraid of the surgery going badly…I simply felt it was a propitious time to really pour out my heart….post date it…and IF nothing happened, well, I could intercept it before it was published, ‘Trash’ the blog post and move on to more trivial matters.

     As I pondered the advice I might give…the words I would want to be remembered for,

I kept ‘coming up empty’!

      I mean, between The Holy Bible, my Dad, Everything I Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Benjamin Franklin, The Beatles, and any of the other inspirational tomes that I could conjure, there didn’t seem to be anything new for me to offer.

     So, I let my mind meander a bit and considered, “What if I’m just unconscious?…maybe even a Rip Van Winkle-esque 20 year coma?” Shouldn’t I just wait and then I can tell everyone about the ‘floating above the room’, the ‘white tunnel’, and all the other things we’ve heard about ‘out-of-body ’ experiences?

     I might recall, “Well, I stood before St. Peter and when he showed me the streets of gold, I couldn’t help but tell him, “I could’ve used the gold last week, what I would like now are streets of cool, green clover to soothe my tired, aching feet!”

     Then of course he probably would have come back with, “Gold’s what we’ve got…you don’t need your feet now anyway….maybe you should try again when you have a little better attitude!”

     So, my mind did some further wandering, as it is often wont to do, and I pondered,

      “Maybe not UN-conscious….maybe when you die you become SUPER-conscious”, which by my definition would be ‘Above’ physical existence…(It was getting late at this point).

While there….

This is what came out…

Or came IN….!

 

 

I am not The Light.

I am a reflection of the light

I am not the wind

Though you may feel my touch on your skin

Through zephyr or gale.

I am not the lightning,  nor the thunder..

Though you can feel me in every drop of rain that caresses your face…or soaks your shoes.

I am the essence of Life, the Spirit within, the Prodigal son, returned to my home.

I am at home!

You will see me, if you truly look,

In the moss clinging to a hoary oak tree… in the faithful abandon, inspired by enduring Hope, of the fledgling sparrow springing from the nest…in the diaphanous foam rising and falling on the surface of the tumultuous seas…

In the eyes of the lost…

In the eyes of the Found..

You will hear me

In the song of laughter… in the beseeching prayer of the penitent… in the plaintive cry of the lone wolf…in the silence of grief…

As the call for Peace that resonates throughout the ages.

You can taste me

In the refreshing succulence of  Nature’s fruits… in the penetrating smoke of the consuming  fire… in the quenching of cool water… each as old and ever flowing as I.

You can feel my touch as you caress a newborn’s sole…in the heartfelt, yet tentative handshake of a stranger… in the cutting heat of Winter ice…

In the sting of a teardrop.

I am there

I am here

You cannot misplace me, for I am with you

I was before you….I am after you… I AM you.

 

I cannot be destroyed , I cannot be turned away…

As long as  you are, am I

I will rejoice in your gladness, I will weep in your sorrow.

I will flow through you as blood.

I will shelter you

You, in turn, will shelter me and hold me close within your heart

For you are my home.

As I am yours.

 

…. anyway….

The surgery ‘went fine’!…Sooooo…. ‘Never mind!…Right?’

Where was I trying to shepherd my wayward thoughts?

Oh yeah,…..advice….words of wisdom….

1. Look both ways

2. Tattoos are Forever

(And, since this is supposed to be, ostensibly, a photography blog…)

3. Label your vacation pictures so that you won’t one day have to ask, “Who is that?…Where were we?…

Did we have any fun?”

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~ by rkpowers on June 21, 2010.

2 Responses to “This is a ‘little bit’ weird…”

  1. Hope you have recovered from the surgery and are feeling well-nice post and lovely poetry.

    Like

  2. Great post. Hope you’re healing nicely. I actually had similar thoughts hearing the same remarks recently before being put to sleep for surgery. It may be age…not really sure. All I could think was “I’m TOTALLY unprepared for this if something were to happen.” It’s a bit eerie but all went well.

    Like

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